Down in the Dumps

Lately I have had a really difficult time finding joy and satisfaction in being Ryder's mother. I know many of you might think this sounds really mean but I'm just being honest. I think that people who constantly say they love EVERY second of motherhood...are lying. I'm just having a hard time with his age and the stage that he is at in his life right now. I just feel like I'm upset more than I'm happy and I want to rip my hair out and claw my eyes out on a daily basis. I must reaffirm that the terrible 2's...really are terrible. I've heard 3-year-olds are even harder and it depresses me to even think about it. A while back I was confessing to my friend, Sunny, about my feelings towards motherhood and my kids. I passed on a statistic that my mother had shared with me. It said that something like 75% of parents don't actually enjoy parenthood. I admitted to Sunny that I was definitely part of that 75%. I love my kids...but most days I just want to give up. BEING the amazing friend that she is, Sunny suggested I read a talk given by our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, titled "Finding Joy in the Journey." I couldn't help but cry as I read it because of the guilt I felt. Compared to most 2-year-olds, I truly know deep down that Ryder is actually a really good kid. It is ME that is the problem. I seriously lack patience. Anyways, I just wanted to post a couple of quotes from the talk for anyone out there who might be feeling the same way that I have felt. DON'T GIVE UP! And don't take life and family (especially your children) for granted.

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."

"there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today."

"If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future."

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."

"Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”"

Thanks Sunny!

Twins?

I haven't really felt like Ryder and Kendra look much alike until I saw this pic Sonia took of Kendra the other day. I remembered I had one of Ryder making the same face from when he was 4 months old (he is the first pic incase you couldn't tell). It's not that they are making the same face...if you look close their eyes have the same shape...their noses look similar and they have the same lips and face shape. They both even have a widow's peak. This is just too deja vu for me.

Yep...I pierced my baby.

This picture again was taken by cell phone so it's not great quality but it's all I've got. On Thursday my sister Sonia and I took Kendra to get her ears pierced. I honestly hadn't even thought of it but Jon brought it up and wanted me to get it done and after talking to some of my peeps I decided I'd just do it. We took her to Claire's at San Tan mall and I made Sonia hold her because I felt too bad. I was trying to keep an eye on our boys and then I heard Kendra crying thinking it was over. When I walked back in the store Sonia said, "We haven't even started yet!" HA! Anyways, I picked little 3mm diamonds and they are SO CUTE! She looks even more girly and I love it. They don't even bother her, which is good. She likes to sleep on her tummy and I thought it would hurt her but she does just fine. I love my brave lil' girl.

Baby Friends Photoshoot

The other day we went to Melissa's house for lunch and Sunny came with her cute baby Tessa too. We ate some YUMMY subs and then decided to take some pictures of the kids together. Kendra and Reed are 3 days apart in age and oh so cute together. I just love Kendra's little furrowed brow and Reed's confused look. Priceless.
Of course Ryder had to jump in there too. He loves having his picture taken...in fact he demands it. He loves Reed. To him, any baby that isn't Kendra is automatically named Reed. HAHA!
When I pulled Kendra out of her car seat Sunny said, "Oh my gosh. Tessa is wearing that same onesie right now." Then she pulled Tessa out. It was pretty funny. We didn't plan it...I swear. It looks so much better on Tessa with her olive complexion. Kendra is white as a ghost like me.
Love these babies. I wish I could have all 3 of them. They are precious. Tessa is 6 weeks younger than Kendra and Reed but she will be keeping up with them when they are older I'm sure.

2 Months and 2.5 Years!

I can't find my cord to upload pics to my computer so this is from my phone. I'll find the cord eventually I hope once I finally get through all these boxes. I hate moving. ANYWAYS, I took the kids in to the Dr. last week and forgot to post about it. Kendra had her 2 month check and Ryder had his 2 year check...well he's 2 1/2 now. For some reason this new pediatrician I take the kids to doesn't give a paper to take home with your child's stats. So I'm having to do it all from memory and I only remember their weight and I have no clue what percentile they are in. Stinky.

Kendra: 12lbs 2oz

Ryder: 32lbs

Kendra is doing SO much better since I last took her in to the Dr. and had him diagnose her with "classic colic." I don't even think that's what was wrong with her, I think Dr.'s tell you whatever they want. 2 weeks after that appt. she completely changed into such a happy baby. I think I switched her formula around too much and her tummy was not liking it. She is a great little baby and we LOVE having her around. She has been smiling for a while now and I finally got a picture of it on my phone. She sleeps pretty well only waking up once a night and I am usually only up for 30 min. with her. Unfortunately she LOVES her swing and that is where she sleeps every night and for every nap. I know, I know it's a bad habit and I've decided to try and break it. She is laying on her back in bed as we speak and she is NOT liking it. She hates to be on her back, side, or tummy. She liked it in the beginning but now if I lay her down she won't stay asleep and won't even cry herself back to sleep. But I can't have her sleeping in her swing forever. Ryder was the same way at her age and I had to break him of it too. He LOVED his car seat. Kendra has been doing a lot of cooing and especially likes her daddy's voice. He can get her to talk more than I can. She does really well at holding her head up...I swear she was doing it at one week old. She's a strong lil' lady. When Ryder was a baby I couldn't wait for him to grow up and hit the next milestone. While I'm excited to see what Kendra does next, I feel like I want to keep her a baby forever. I'm really enjoying having a girl.

Ryder is getting so big and tall and is saying more and more funny things all the time. I talked to his Dr. about him having OCD tendencies and the Dr. said it's normal and to not pay attention to it or he'll keep doing the things he's doing. He can't walk out a door without closing it behind him and if he walks past a toy car or something that is on its side, he goes back and fixes it before continuing what he was doing. He likes to have things in order and likes to line things up perfectly like toys or DVD's. He also HATES being dirty. It's pretty funny. He is a silly little boy and loves to make people laugh. He is quite the dancer and loves to bust moves to any music that comes on. His favorite movies at the moment are Mary Poppins and 101 Dalmatians. Not the cartoon Dalmatians, the one with real people and dogs. He also loves this really goofy show on NickJr. called The Upside Down Show. I think it's pretty lame but he will laugh out loud at it and it cracks me up. He LOVES Kendra and always wants to take care of her and help me feed her. He is always very sweet and nice to her, which makes me happy. He loves blueberry waffles and sandwiches at the moment. Oh and sushi of course. We took him to a sushi restaurant last week and he ate an entire California hand roll to himself. I was impressed...and very proud. His favorite thing to say right now is, "Hey! How are you doing? Are you good? Oh!" All together like it's one sentence. He'll say it to trees, animals, etc. It's hilarious. He also likes to sing along to the radio now. He can sing along to "Heartbreaker" by Taio Cruz and "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon. HAHA!

Kendra's Blessing Day

Jon blessed Kendra at church on August 1st. It has taken me forever to post this because we moved and haven't had internet for over a week, which has been very hard for me might I add. I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted. AH! Anyways, it was a great and stressful day. After the blessing my family got together at my parents' house but Jon and I had to stay at church and do our duties so they took our kids for us and then we started moving into our new place that afternoon. It was crazy. We are almost completely settled in our new place and we like it, except for the 2 scorpions we found. I wish I could remember the blessing that Jon gave Kendra but I was so distracted by the fact that he left out her middle name (twice) that I couldn't concentrate the rest of the time. He was really nervous, poor guy. He did great though. My mom bought her the most gorgeous blessing dress. You can tell in the picture it is very long, which I love. I'm sad she only got to wear it once. It's like a prom or wedding dress! HA! I gave it back to my mom since she spent quite a bit o' money on it so that it can be given to other granddaughters to use. I just wish I could've gotten a better picture of Kendra but my camera was packed away. Oh well.